Women with Large Breasts beware your Next Trip through Airport Security

Posted by PITHOCRATES - August 18th, 2013

Week in Review

You ladies thought it was bad enough going through airport security?  Think again (see Fears Over Al Qaeda ‘Breast Implant Bomb’ Causing Long Lines At London’s Heathrow Airport by Pamela Engel posted 8/16/2013 on Business Insider).

Lines at London’s Heathrow Airport are “much longer than usual at this time of the year” because of fears that Al Qaeda terrorists have developed explosives that can be implanted in people, The Mirror reports.

Body scanners can detect items that people are carrying with them, but they aren’t able to catch devices that are inside of the body.

Heathrow Airport is reportedly concerned about women suicide bombers who conceal explosive materials inside breast implants…

U.K. officials reportedly have “credible intelligence” that terrorists are plotting attacks on airplanes flying out of London, and security staff have been told to “pay particular attention to females who may have concealed hidden explosives in their breasts,” an airport staff member told The Mirror.

This cannot go well.

“Hello, ladies.  Those are some nice breasts you have there.  Let me study them a moment.  Yes.  Nice.  Large.  Shapely.  Firm.  Supple.  Hmm.  Could they be hiding a bomb?  This will require a closer look, yes?  Perhaps a look beneath your brassier.  To look for any telltale signs of a recent surgery.  Or a gentle hand massage.  A kneading of the breast tissue.  To make sure there’s nothing but breast tissue there.  But there’s nothing to worry about, ma’am.  For I am a trained airport security screening professional.  Rest assured I don’t enjoy playing with women’s breasts all day long.”

Yeah, right.  The first time some college coeds come through the screening line it’ll be like a Russ Meyer film.  Of course, imagine the fallout should they single out a woman in Muslim garb for closer scrutiny.  The firestorm would be so great that you can just imagine that Muslims will not be searched as much as some other women.  Such as the ladies that could have had a starring role in a Russ Meyer film.

www.PITHOCRATES.com

Share

Tags: , , , , ,