Liberals have a Distinct Advantage when it comes to Embarrassing Nude Selfies in Cyberspace

Posted by PITHOCRATES - August 4th, 2013

Week in Review

A lot of people in their teens and twenties may not be thinking about running for public office.  A senate or a presidential campaign may be the last thing on their mind as they are partying on some college campus.  Finally away from their parents.  Able to do the things they couldn’t do with their parents around.  Like get drunk.  And have some grownup fun.  Even taking naughty pictures of themselves and sending them to their fellah.  Never thinking that it would end up a permanent fixture on the Internet.  Besides, how could that ever come back to haunt them (see When Will We Get a Female Pol’s Crotch Shot? by Lizzie Crocker posted 8/1/2013 on The Daily Beast)?

Leave it to Gloria Steinem to raise the million-dollar question out of all the media gold that has been spun out of Anthony Weiner’s latest sexting scandal:

“I mean, just imagine if there were a woman who had photographed her pubic area and sent it out on the phone,” Steinem recently told The Cut. “Would she be a candidate..?”

Let’s face it: any female politician whose vagina was splashed all over the Web would have a hard time weathering the derision that image would inevitably generate.

The sad thing is a woman’s political orientation will determine the derision that would follow.  Not to mention the shame and embarrassment.  The media coverage would portray the Democrat as a victim.  While portraying the Republican as a hypocrite.  Family values?  Yeah, right.  While late night television would have a field day.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you with your clothes covering your vagina.”

Kids do stupid things in their youth.  In the old days these were things done and forgotten.  Where mothers today may blush as they remember something they did in their youth.  But that’s where it ends.  Because there was no permanent record of it floating in cyberspace.  Unlike today.  Where if these women don’t go on to a career in porn those pictures will come back and haunt them.  Forever.  Perhaps even destroying their political aspirations.  If those aspirations include joining the Republican Party.

It leaves one to wonder about the left’s objectification of women.  Their turning women into sexual objects for men to enjoy.  Perhaps they want these young women to upload embarrassing nude photos of themselves.  So they can store them on some server farm.  Just in case they decide to go into politics.  On the wrong side.  At which time they can dig these pictures up.  And throw them back out onto the Internet.  So they can use them to destroy the political opposition.  For they know that can’t win in the arena of ideas.  No.  The way they win is with vicious personal attacks on the opposition so that they rue the day they ever entered the political area.  And nothing could help them more than some nude selfies from their youth.

And the saddest thing of all is that it is the conservative cause that will suffer the most.  An adulterous affair with an intern young enough to be his daughter in the Oval Office?   What business is that of ours?  What people do in their private lives has nothing to do with their ability to expertly execute the duties of their office.  A crotch shot from a drunken teen on spring break?  Obviously a sign of a deep character flaw.  And clearly someone who has no right to talk about family values.  The exhibitionist hypocrite.

You know this is what will happen.  And why some of America’s best and brightest may never run for public office.  Because of something they did when they were a young silly liberal that’s come back to bite them in the ass when they’ve grown up into a mature responsible conservative adult.  For conservatives will have shame for something so embarrassing in their past.  Unlike some liberals.

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FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH #24: “You cannot lobby a politician unless he or she is for sale.” -Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - July 27th, 2010

IT’S A PROFESSION as old as time.  Politics.  Prostitution, too.

Hooker:  Hey, baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam?

Joker:    Not just this minute.

Hooker:  Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you long time. You party?

Joker:    Yeah, we might party. How much?

Hooker:  Fifteen dolla.

Joker:    Fifteen dollars for both of us?

Hooker:  No. Each you fifteen dolla. Me love you long time. Me so horny.

Joker:    Fifteen dollar too boo-coo. Five dollars each.

Hooker:  Me suckee-suckee. Me love you too much.

Joker:    Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend.

Hooker:  Okay! Ten dolla each.

Joker:    What do we get for ten dollars?

Hooker:  Every’ting you want.

Joker:    Everything?

Hooker:  Every’ting.

Joker:    Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money?

(From the movie Full Metal Jacket, 1987.)

In the above scene from Full Metal Jacket, Private Joker (reporter for Stars and Stripes) and Private Rafterman (photographer for Stars and Stripes) are sitting at a table outside a cafe in Da Nang.  Minding their own business.  The hooker walks up to them.  She initiates the conversation.  She tells them that for a fee she’ll have sex with them.

Please note that it is the service provider that approached the two privates.  They did not go up to random women, offering them money in exchange for sex.  Why?  Because not all women are for sale.  They know this.  It would be a waste of their time to ask random women.   And it would be rather offensive to the laywoman in the street.  Now, Marines may be killers.  But they’re polite to the indigenous population.

When you’re selling favors, the onus is on the seller to find the buyers.  They have to put the word out that they are for sale (ultra-miniskirt, low-cut tops, high heels, heavy makeup, stand on a corner, flash their ‘wares’, etc.).  Or find someone who will broker these sales for them.  A pimp, if you will.  Or a brothel madam.  Or, mamasan, as she is called in Southeast Asia.  A prostitute must initiate the process with the ‘john’ (Hey, baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam?).  Or she goes to a place where other prostitutes ply their trade to a receptive clientele (such as a brothel).

A prostitute is often a victim of circumstance.  Few women seek this life.  They’re not shopping one day when a man walks up to them and says, “Wow.  I find you beautiful and would like to pay you to have sex with me.”   To which she replies, “okay” and leaves one life to start another.  It doesn’t happen like that.   Often it is some misfortune that forces them into the business.  And once there they have but one thing of value that they can sell for subsistence; a young attractive body.  For a limited time.

THEY WEREN’T PERFECT.  The Founding Fathers had their faults.  They knew the evils of a strong central government.  And they knew the dangers of a weak central government.  John Adams wanted to build ‘wooden walls’ (i.e., a navy) to protect America.  Jefferson opposed standing armies and expensive navies.  Washington was a nationalist.  Hamilton, too.  Madison and Jefferson were more states’ rights men.  Hamilton was a capitalist and wanted a national bank.  Jefferson hated capitalism, banks, cities and Hamilton.  It was a rocky start.  They had different views about what America should be.  But the administrations of the Founding Fathers (Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison and Munroe) were for the most part honest.  There was partisan fighting, but political corruption was still gestating.   Our first Democratic administration would give it real life.

Government was growing.  There were more federal jobs to hand out.  And with property ownership no longer a requirement to vote, more and more voters had no skin in the game.  People were now voting to have a say in how to spend other people’s money.  You put the two together and you get political patronage and spoils.  Those who help to ‘get out the vote’ to get Democrats elected were rewarded with federal jobs.  The more you helped the better the job.  And when Andrew Jackson won the election in 1828, federal job seekers overran Washington.

It may have started with the Democrats, but soon everyone was using the spoils of an election victory to repay their most loyal supporters.  And government continued to grow.  Back then, it was just politics.  Egregious, but just politics.  Patronage and spoils turned into graft and kickbacks.  And the bigger government got, the more money poured into and out of Washington.

Soon, congressmen, senators and presidents steered legislation and/or policy in exchange for sweetheart mortgage deals, vacation junkets, campaign contributions, legal defense funds, retirement of campaign debt, libraries, etc.  They were now offering services for a fee.  And for a lot more than subsistence.  During a limited time.  Due to the circumstance of holding public office.  Now, they’re not saying “me love you long time,” but they are taking money and someone is getting screwed.  And it’s a pretty sweet deal.  The prostitute has to earn her money the hard way.  She has to put out.  A politician, on the other hand, doesn’t.  They get rich the easy way.  While the public takes it up the pooper.

PEOPLE HATE LOBBYISTS.  They hate their influence.  They hate Big Pharma, Big Agra, Big Oil, Big Finance and the other ‘Bigs’ that lobby Big Government.  But these ‘johns’ only exist because politicians are more than willing (and make it known) that they are for sale.  You gotta pay to play in Washington. 

Are we to believe that politicians are as pure as the wind-driven snow until a lobbyist corrupts them?  Yeah, right.   If you believe that be wary of anyone trying to sell you a bridge.  It’s a game.  And they write the rules.  And if you don’t play nice, they can make it pretty unpleasant for you.  Anti-business legislation, justice department probes, attorney general investigations, public attacks by administration officials, etc.  Nasty things for a business.  And costly.  Often the cost of avoiding these (i.e., playing the game) is a cheaper option.  The business that does not lobby, then, may find themselves under assault by Big Government or at a disadvantage against their competitors who do.  So they enter the fray, hedging their bets by throwing large sums of money on both sides of the aisle. 

And even though the Republican Party is supposed to be the party of Big Business, have you seen who Big Business often contributes to?  More times than not they’re in bed with the Democrats.  Who did General Electric endorse in the 2008 election?  Obama.  Why?  You tell me.  For I have no idea.  They make MRIs.  And electricity-generating windmills.  I’m not sure how they could benefit by an administration that was going to reform health care and promote green energy.  It just baffles the mind.

THE CORRUPTION CONTAGION knows no party lines.  Unabashed greed is universal.  Especially with other people’s money.  Washington has become what the Founding Fathers feared.  Big, powerful and awash in cash.  Even during record deficits.  The days of disinterested public service are long gone.  Getting to Washington has become the objective.  Not what you do when you get there.  Because if you make it to Washington, you leave it rich.  And live comfortably ever after.

And now I must apologize to prostitutes everywhere.  For they truly earn their money.  It is unfair and unjust to compare them to politicians.  And the ultimate injustice is the fact that politicians enjoy their services.  One of the perks of being in Washington.  High-priced call girls at your beckoned call.  Paid for, of course, by others.

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FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH #16: “The military part of the military has been a success story. The Big Government part of the military has not.” -Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - June 1st, 2010

IN THE TUG of war between Big Government and limited government, the proponents of Big Government like to point to the military as a Big Government success story.  Now, the U.S. military has been a success story.  But not because of Big Government.  Unless you want to call paying $200 for a toilet seat a Big Government success story.

People are not perfect.  Anything man does, then, will be imperfect.  The same is true of the military.  Those doing the fighting are by necessity doing the absolute best thing to guarantee victory.  They die otherwise.  Those furthest away from combat tend to look more towards personal self-interest.  And, typically, the Big Government bureaucrats tend to be the furthest away from combat.  They’re never in any personal danger.  If they aren’t doing a stellar job, other people suffer and die.  They don’t.

The military is big business.  Which means big money.  Which means big graft.  And big kickbacks.  Military contracts are replete with pork.  It’s not necessarily the military contractors at fault, though.  When there is only one customer for your goods and services, you have to play by their rules.  Politicians have enormous power when awarding contracts.  And if you think pure merit is going to land you a contract on its own, think again. 

There’s a reason we’re paying $200 a toilet seat.  How else is a contractor going to get the money to pay all those bribes demanded by Washington bureaucrats?  High-end call girls don’t come cheap, especially if you want them to do the ‘weird stuff’ (to quote a little Dr. Bob Kelso from the television show Scrubs).  Private yachts.  Golf resorts.  Vacation junkets.  Campaign contributions.  These things are expensive.  And if they are the price of admission, how are you NOT going to pay to play?

SITUATION NORMAL, ALL F*cked Up.  That’s a SNAFU.  It implies a sense of hope.  FUBAR doesn’t.  F*cked Up Beyond All Repair (or Recognition).  That’s when things pass irreparably past SNAFU.  And usually when they do, it’s not the fault of the grunt with a rifle in his hands in the middle of the SNAFU.

These ‘military’ terms represent various degrees of incompetence of the generals/civilians above them that results with placing combat forces in very difficult situations.  Or simply what happens in the ‘fog of war’.  D-Day was a carefully planned assault on Hitler’s Atlantic Wall.  The generals and the politicians made their plans.  And when General Eisenhower gave the ‘go’ order, everything rested on the shoulders of the teenagers and young men far down the chain of command who would do the actual fighting.

Air power would soften up the defenses and isolate the coast from the interior, hindering the movement of German reinforcements.  Paratroopers and glider troops were to land behind enemy lines and take/hold key bridges and knock out specific gun emplacements.  A naval bombardment would further soften up the beach defenses.  Then the troops and tanks would hit the beaches.  They would open up beach exits to allow following troops and armor to pass through and break out of the beachhead.

Yes, that was the plan.  But the best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew (to quote the Scottish poet Robert Burns), don’t they?  And so they did.  The aerial bombardment fell too far inland.  When the paratroopers jumped they scattered in the wind.  Few landed on their objective.  Once the naval bombardment commenced there was so much smoke on the beach no one could see where their rounds were landing.  When the beach assault began, they shifted their fire inland to miss hitting their own men.  Which made them miss the Germans, too.  Still, of the 5 beaches, 4 went somewhat according to plan on D-Day.  One, though, was going from SNAFU to FUBAR pretty darn quick.

Omaha Beach.  The ‘softening up’ did little to the guns aimed on that beach.  Artillery and machine gun fire swept hellfire across Omaha.  It was raining lead and iron.  This is the beach at the beginning of the Steven Spielberg movie Saving Private Ryan.  The first wave of troops littered the beach with dead and dying.  The armor didn’t make it ashore.  These teenagers and young men were on their own.  And there is only one way to go on a beach.  Forward, into the enemy fire.

Close to FUBAR, the generals were considering abandoning the invasion.  Of course, they were powerless to do anything at the time other than to call retreat.  Nothing they could say or do would change a thing on the beach.  They were too far away.  They couldn’t see.  Or hear.  Or feel.  But junior officers and noncommissioned officers in the fight could.  And, using personal initiative, they took action.  Paratroopers gathered into fighting units and moved on their objectives.  A destroyer captain, closer to shore due to his shallower draft, could see the troops on the beach had no fire support. He took his ship in closer and ran up and down the shallow waters of the coast, providing some of the only effective fire support during the assault.  Junior officers and noncoms gathered shattered men from shattered units and led them inland and opened the beach exits. 

OMAHA WAS COSTLY, but we prevailed.  Not because of any general or governmental bureaucrat.  We prevailed because ordinary men did extraordinary things.  Nameless men.  Our fathers.  Our grandfathers.  They did incredible things.  Things that we cannot even imagine.  And we worry what would happen if circumstance once again puts ordinary people in a position like this again.  Could we do what they did?  We know a few who can.  They’re doing it today.  But could we?  Could we be as extraordinary as our fathers and grandfathers?  As those serving in the military today?  No doubt some have their doubts.

How, why, do they do it?  For God?  Country?  Family?  Perhaps.  Or is there another reason?

And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered-

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother

(St. Crispin’s Day Speech from William Shakespeare’s Henry V)

And so it goes in war.  Circumstance places ordinary men into extraordinary situations.  And they do extraordinary things.  And in the heat of battle, most thoughts flee their minds but two.  Survival.  And their brothers.  Alongside them in battle.  Who are as frightened as they.  Who are facing the same enemy fire as they are.  Terrified.  But standing fast.  He will not leave his brother just as his brother will not leave him.  This is courage.  And this is why American soldiers win battles.  This is what makes them give that last ounce of effort.  To go above and beyond the call of duty even.  To do the extraordinary.

SO THERE YOU have it.  The two parts that make up the military.  The military part.  And the Big Government part.  And the two parts couldn’t be more different. 

Big Government doesn’t make the military successful.  Kids barely out of high school do.  And we must never forget that.  We need to honor them on Memorial Day.  On Veterans Day.  And every other day of the calendar.  And we should never insult them by saying their actions are the result of a bloated governmental bureaucracy.  For nothing could be further from the truth.  Ironically, it’s their selfless service that enables that corrupt bureaucracy to become bloated in largess; a secured nation makes a safe place to turn public office into personal gain.

And Big Government will continue to buy their $200 toilet seats.  Because that’s who they are.  And, unless you’re part of Big Government, you don’t like it.  On principle.  And for the fact that if you have ever sat on one of those toilet seats, you know there just ain’t anything special about them.

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