LESSONS LEARNED #12: “Feminists will forgive misogyny if the misogynist is a self-proclaimed feminist.” -Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - May 6th, 2010

MOST WHO CONSIDER themselves feminists aren’t very militant.  And most aren’t probably that hardcore on the ‘equal’ thing.  Men and women are different.  They know this.  And that’s okay.  Many feminists don’t mind when a man holds a door for them.  Or that they have to sit down to pee.  You don’t have to be a man.  You can enjoy your femininity and have a career.  No one says you can’t.  Well, almost no one.

There is a very loud, a very angry and a very militant group of feminists that beg to differ.  It’s not that big of a group.  It seems like it, but that’s just because they get some prime exposure.  In the entertainment industry.  Some media outlets.  And through some rich and powerful friends.

This group believes in absolute equality.  You don’t dare hold a door for them.  Or compliment them on their appearance.  And if you ever think about patting them on the fanny, just realize that you may lose that hand in the process.  And probably your two best friends as well.  Then they’ll say something like “how do you like me now, bitch” to the newly castrated man.

Don’t call them the fairer sex.  Or the weaker sex.  They don’t like it.  They can be crude in their speech for they eschew any preconceived notions of lady-like behavior.    They’ll drop the f-bomb at will and ask a guy how’s it hanging.  They like their behavior rough and coarse.  Just like a man’s.  Like I said, absolute equality.

THESE HARDCORE MILITANT feminists (HMFs) have one overriding concern.  And that is not to let anything interfere with their chosen career or profession.  Anything.  And they’ve had some successes.  Glass ceilings have been shattering and restraints on women’s advancement are falling.  Everywhere.  Everywhere but one.  The uterus.

The HMFs don’t just eschew lady-like behavior, they detest the biological tyranny of the female reproductive system.  The uterus has destroyed more careers than the exclusivity of any old boys club.  Pregnancy.  The scourge of unbridled advancement in the HMF’s world.  Bodily change.  Leaves of absence.  And the possibility that the temporary leave may become a permanent one.  Motherhood.  Children.  The very thought of it sickens them.  And infuriates them.  It just ain’t fair.

They fight this oppression with religious fervor.  And their vehicle is reproductive rights.  Abortion.  It is their holy grail.  They’ve fought long and hard to get it.  And, by god, they intend to keep it.  And they base their political world on it.

At least, that’s what one would surmise based on the historical evidence.

CONDOLEEZA RICE HAS had a remarkable career that set a lot of firsts.  She has an incredible resume and achieved everything on it on her own.  From her PhD in political science to the third most powerful position in the country, Secretary of State, and everything in between, she worked hard and advanced herself.  On pure merit.  Unlike Hillary Clinton whose rise to fame was courtesy of the coattails of a successful man.

You would think that between the two, feminists would hold up Rice as the ideal.  She made it in the man’s world.  Shattered ceilings.  Set records.  Was in fact more successful than most men.  Clinton had to go old school and rely on a successful marriage for political success.  But, of course, it is Clinton they hold up as the ideal.  Not Rice.  Why?

Clinton is a Democrat.  Rice is a Republican.  Clinton is pro-choice.  Rice is less so.  Though very religious, she is kind of libertarian when it comes to abortion.  She’s not pro on-demand abortion.  She believes there should be certain restrictions.  And that’s enough.  Between the two, Clinton supports abortion more.  So the HMFs hold her up as the ideal.

STAND BY YOUR man.  Not exactly a feminist dictate.  If a woman’s husband has a history of extramarital activity, few feminists would say to stand by that man.  They may say something like if he has a problem keeping it in his pants, then just cut it off.  For there are few things as hurtful and humiliating than infidelity.

Bill Clinton has apparently had a problem of keeping it in his pants.  There’ve been many accusations about many women.  The Clintons met all of these with righteous indignation.  His wife attributed them to political attacks from a vast right wing conspiracy.  And she stood by her man.  Even after the infamous blue dress.

Well, it turned out that at least one of the accusations were true.  Now, Bill Clinton was personable, but he was no George Clooney.  Or a Tom Jones.  Women weren’t throwing their panties at him.  He just wasn’t sexy.  So it wasn’t a passionate animal attraction.  No, it wasn’t that.  It was power.  He was the most powerful man in America.  And she was just a 20 something year old intern.  He was 50ish.  He took advantage of her awe of his power.  And stuck his penis in her mouth.  And a cigar tube in her vagina.  But it wasn’t a big deal.  Most men just joked about it.  Thought it was pretty cool.  As long it wasn’t their daughter’s mouth.  Or their daughter’s vagina.

MEN ARE PIGS.  It’s no secret.  So it’s no big shock that a lot of men were okay with a little oral sex in the Oval Office.  They look at the young women in their offices.  They talk about them.  What they would like to do with them.  Some go too far.  Abuse their position of power.  They make inappropriate remarks.  Inappropriate contact.  And then all hell breaks loose.  And rightly so.

Get a job today and you have to sit through compulsory sexual harassment training.  Before you start working.  Employers live in fear of sexual harassment.  If they don’t do enough to prevent it, or if they don’t act fast enough when it happens, the lawyers sue.  The lawyers sue even when they do.  It’s a minefield.  One misstep along the way and BOOM.  Lawsuit.  We will not tolerate any abuse of power.  Unless, of course, you’re president of the United States.

WHAT IS MISOGYNY?  A hatred of women.  Objectifying them for pleasure.  The attitude that women are good for only one thing.  Sex.  A misogynist may ‘love’ being with women, but he doesn’t necessarily want to be with them.  Talk to them.  Or see them still there the following morning.  And he may leave cab fare out so they won’t be there later that evening after he’s ‘done’ with them.  Think of Charlie Harper from the television show Two and a Half Men.

A man that habitually cheats on his wife is a misogynist.  He doesn’t respect his wife.  Or the women he’s fooling around with.  He’s just having a good time.  Using them.  To fulfill some animal desire.  Thinking with the little head.  Always.

JFK was fooling around.  Teddy, too.  Two women died as a result.  Marilyn Monroe committed suicide.  Did she want more than JFK was willing to give?  Did she kill herself because of this?  We’ll never know.  All that we know is that she had sex with JFK.  And that she was depressed.

Ted Kennedy was probably going to have sex with Mary Jo Kopechne when he accidentally drove off that bridge.  His pregnant wife was home in bed at the time.  Kennedy panicked and left Kopechne to die.  This may have dashed his presidential ambitions, but he remained in the Senate for another 40 years or so.  A stalwart liberal.  The HMFs stood by him.  And JFK (posthumously, of course).  Teddy was pro-choice.  And a Catholic.  Talk about a coup for feminism.  They loved this man.  And never abandoned him.  I mean, Catholicism is about as anti-abortion as you can get.  In another era, the church would have excommunicated Teddy for such blasphemy.

The feminists never abandoned Clinton, either.  Bill or Hillary.  Why?  They’re pro-choice.  And with them in power, the HMFs know abortion will stay a choice.  So they will forgive the misogyny.  It’s like a ‘get out of jail free’ card.  In their world, he just didn’t do anything that bad.  Unlike someone else.

SAY THE NAME and the invectives fly.  Sarah Palin.  My, how the Left hates her.  And the HMFs.  Here’s another successful career woman, too.  She earned everything herself.  Didn’t marry into anything.  Again, a feminist ideal they could hold up for all young girls to emulate.  But they hate her.  Why?

They hate Sarah Palin because she’s that 1950s mom AND a successful career woman.  That just ain’t supposed to happen.  Remember, having babies is the scourge of career advancement.  Add to that the fact that she didn’t abort her last pregnancy after already having had 4 children.  Compound that with the fact that she didn’t change her mind about abortion after finding out her last baby would be born with Down Syndrome. 

Palin makes a mockery of the HMFs version of feminism.  Babies destroy careers.  Ergo, to succeed in a career, you can’t have babies.  But, being in a modern, liberated age, accidents happen.  And no one should punish a career woman for doing anything more than a man did.  She should be able to keep her career.  And abortion lets her.  That’s the model.  And then along comes Palin and blows that model all to hell.

THERE ARE MANY more examples.  All with a common theme.  Misogyny is okay as long as you are a feminist.  You can do pretty much whatever you want.  They won’t attack you.  They will, though, if you are pro-life.  Even if you only ‘lean’ pro-life.  Because if you take away abortion, the biological tyranny of the female reproductive system will go on unchecked.  And absolute equality will be but a fleeting memory.

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FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH #12: “Feminists will forgive misogyny if the misogynist is a self-proclaimed feminist.” -Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - May 4th, 2010

WHEN YOU FELL and scratched your knee, your mother kissed the booboo and wiped away your tears.  When you got lost at the store you cried until your mother found you.  And when she did, she hugged you and instantly made the world a safe and happy place again.  The best part of the first day of school had nothing to do with school.  It was after school when you saw your mother standing at the door, waiting for you.

Dads are important, too.  And they do a lot for us.  More than we can ever thank them for.  But when it comes to that nurturing love we ache for, it’s Mom we turn to.  Because moms are nurturing.

In most species, it is the female that nurtures her young while the male provides.  Or abandons.  That’s why Mother’s Day is a bigger holiday than Father’s Day.  When grown, you may have a beer with Dad on Father’s Day.  But you send flowers on Mother’s Day. 

There is a bond between mother and child.  That’s what spending 9 months together as one will do to you.  And it survives.  Even in divorce.  Traditionally, a divorce favors the mother when it comes to custody.  Because of their nurturing role.  And the father works to provide child support while the mother stays at home and nurtures their children.

FEMINISM CALLS FOR equality between the sexes.  Feminists note that employers pay women less then they pay men for the same work.  It’s an outrage, they say.  But is it?  Can a person’s sex factor into the ‘value’ of an employee?

Sorry, Mom, but the answer is ‘yes’.  At times.  Sometimes.  Not all times.  But sometimes.

When an employer is considering hiring someone, they have to consider many things.  Many candidates are thinking short-term.  They want a job.  They may pad their resume and say things during an interview they think the interviewer wants to hear.  Even lie.  Just a little.  It’s all about getting the job.  And if it turns out that they don’t like the job, why, they can always quit.

Employers are thinking long term.  They’re looking for someone who will be there next week.  And next year.  And the year after that.  No one comes ‘ready to work’.  It takes time to bring an employee on board and make them an integral part of the team.  And once they are integral, employers depend on them.  Need them.  Projects suffer when they’re down with the flu or take a leave of absence.  Others have to carry their load.  And if it’s near the end of a 3 year project, that can be difficult.  You need to make decisions based on the history of the past 2+ years.  And if that key employee isn’t there, neither is that history.  The project suffers.  The company suffers.

THE IDEAL EMPLOYEE is the father of the nuclear family.  The mother is home raising the children allowing the husband more time to work.  With a family to raise and provide for, the husband will go home after work to the family, not party, and go to bed at a reasonable hour and be on time the next morning.  There’s nothing like the yoke of responsibility to suck the wild out of a person.  Younger, single people have far less of a load to shoulder.  So they’re still living in the now.  And having fun.  And sometimes show up the next morning hung over. 

The father in the nuclear family provides stability.  Employers like stability.  They don’t like unpredictable, disordering change.  Because that kind of change throws wrenches into the works of a finely tuned machine.

Even though no employer will say it publicly, women can be wrench throwers.  If she has young children and she and her husband both work, chances are that the ‘nurturer’ will be the one staying home with the kids when they are sick or when the school is closed (due to weather, boiler problem, power outage, etc.).  She may be the one taking the kids to a midday dentist appointment.  She may be the one who takes the kids to and from day-care and can’t stay late if a meeting with an out of town design team runs long.  Or fly out of town to respond to a crisis. 

Most of these are often simply inconvenient annoyances.  Sometimes they come at bad times.  But it’s a small wrench and there’s barely a ripple in the ongoing operations.  But there’s something else.  A BIG wrench.  And this can really weigh into the hiring decision making process.

WOMEN HAVE UTERUSES.  Men don’t.  If a family adds another child, the father may miss a few days of work.  Maybe take a week or so off.  But he’s coming back.  It’s different with a woman.  She’s not coming back after a couple of days.  Or a week.  No.  She’ll be gone for months.  If she even comes back. 

If an employer is interviewing for a key position on a 3 year project, this has to be a consideration.  You can’t ask a woman her motherly intentions.  Unless you want to get sued.  And if you could, 3 years is a long time.  A career woman may change her mind in a year or so.  Or there could be an ‘accident’ that leads to a change of mind.  To use a sports analogy, it could be like signing a new quarterback to a 3 year contract to take the team to the Super Bowl.  And the addition of this key player makes a difference.  In year 2 of the contract they missed the Super Bowl by one game.  Year 3 is even better.  Then, just as the postseason is about to begin, your quarterback, your key employee, suffers an injury.  And the 3-year plan comes to an inglorious end with a loss in the first postseason game.

You just don’t hire people.  You invest in them.  As with all investments, you want to minimize your risks. That’s why, all things being equal between two candidates, a man may have more ‘value’ than a woman.  Because of that BIG wildcard.  The uterus.  It could gestate one day.  It’s what uteruses do.

THE HARCORE MILITANT feminists (HMFs) know this.  And they hate it. 

The HMFs are not a fan of the 1950s stay-at-home-and-raise-a-family mom.  No, they don’t like her at all.  That woman is a second class citizen in a man’s world.  At least in the HMF eyes.  She stays at home, chained to the stove, or the bed, to serve her man while he is out in the real world living life.  Building a career.  Having 3 martini lunches.  Having a bit on the side.  HMFs see this as the height of inequality.  They want to be that man.  They want the career.  The 3 martini lunches.  They want to enjoy a bit on the side.  They want to live life.

There is really only one thing that prevents a woman from being that man.  She can get pregnant.  She can have a baby.  And when she does, she may quit her job.  Give up on her career.  Stay at home, chained to the kitchen.  Or the bed.  Have more babies which perpetuates her wretched state.  This is why reproductive rights are such a fundamental issue with HMFs.  It allows them to be that man.  It lets them overcome that one fatal weakness: pregnancy.  This lets them work, and play, like a man. 

HARDCORE MILITANT FEMINSTS don’t hate men; they hate uteruses.  They are, in fact, misogynists.  For it is the very essence of womanhood that they hate.  Motherhood.  They find it demeaning.  It’s a game changer that takes them out of the game.  That’s why they don’t hate their fellow misogynists.  No, they don’t hate them; they admire them.  They admire the power.  And that is, after all, what they want.  Power.  Go ahead and do as you do as long as you let me do it, too.  Give me the power to climb any mountain.  To negotiate any obstacle.  To get rid of any inconvenient pregnancy.  Let me have an abortion.  You do that and I will always support you no matter what you do.

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