The Language Police descend upon a Spoon in a Montreal Yogurt Shop

Posted by PITHOCRATES - June 22nd, 2013

Week in Review

If you think there is hostility between liberals and conservatives in the United States try this.  Go to Ontario, Canada, and greet someone by saying, “Bonjour personne anglophone.  Permettez-moi de parler lentement alors même que vous mon obtus ami peut comprendre ma langue supérieure.  (Which, according to Bing, translates to “Hello English-speaking person.  Let me speak slowly so even you my dim-witted friend may understand my superior language.”)

Do NOT do this.  Because if you do you may really offend someone and cause an international incident.  For the English-speaking Canadians are not exactly thrilled with French-speaking Canadians and their French language agenda.  Who even have language police enforcing a French-only language law in Quebec (see Quebec language cops object to yogurt shop’s spoons by Giuseppe Valiante, QMI Agency, posted 6/21/2013 on the Toronto Sun).

David Lipper said he had no idea his two Menchies Frozen Yogurt franchises in the Montreal area were carrying potential contraband.

Lipper said he “was so paranoid to ensure everything in the store was in French” that he missed a pivotal item: the yogurt spoons.

Lipper said an inspector told him he violated the province’s language laws and the oversight will cost his head office at least $30,000…

The “cow” spoon is engraved with the words “sweet moosic!” The language inspector who visited Lipper’s yogurt shop a few days ago didn’t appreciate the play on words.

So why are the English-speaking Canadians so upset with the French-speaking Canadians?  Because of things like this.  While every other province outside of Quebec has to be bilingual.  All of their businesses, their courts, their stores and even their road signs have to be in both English and French.  Which costs a pretty penny.  Yet in Quebec there is no English allowed.  Despite Canada being officially bilingual.

So don’t go up to an English-speaking Canadian and say something rude to them in French.  For it is almost certain that they will fail to see the humor in it.

For the record the French were first to Canada.  The lower town of Quebec City dates back to 1603.  So they had a lot of history there before the British defeated them in the Seven Years’ War and made French Canada British.  So you can understand their desire to keep the French language, customs and institutions alive in the heart of what was once New France.  But on the other hand they have imposed bilingualism on the rest of Canada.  Where the vast majority of these people trace their history back to the British.  So it is a touchy subject.  And will forever remain one.  Just be polite and respectful to whomever you talk to in Canada and you can’t go wrong.  For they are a kind people.  And will treat you like family.

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