FT209: “The first openly gay NFL player will be as distracting as Tim Tebow.” —Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - February 14th, 2014

Fundamental Truth

The Heart we see on Valentine’s Day is actually a Woman’s Butt as she Bends Over

We have locker rooms for women.  And locker rooms for men.  Because we want an environment where women feel comfortable and safe to undress in.  To be stripped to their underwear in.  Where they can walk around nude.  And shower naked.  Things most people—men included—don’t feel comfortable doing in front of other people.  Especially people of the opposite sex.

We’ve seen a man talking to a pretty and buxom lady in many a television show and movie.  With the man’s eyes meandering down to the woman’s ample breasts.  In fact, we’ve seen some men in extreme discomfort as they try NOT to look.  Especially when a woman’s boobs are straining the buttons on her blouse.  Or she’s showing a lot of cleavage.  Those who are caught looking may hear an angry “Hey, buddy, my eyes are up here!”

But it’s just not breasts that attract a man’s gaze.  Men like to watch women from behind, too.  Watching their pert behinds as they sashay by.  A woman can sometimes feel those eyes on her derriere.  And may respond with an exasperated, “Stop looking at my ass!”  But men have long enjoyed looking at a woman’s posterior.  So much so that the heart we see on Valentine’s Day—the symbol of love—is actually a woman’s butt as she bends over.

Seeing a Penis in the Women’s Locker Room will no doubt make some Women Uncomfortable

For these reasons women get their own locker rooms and restrooms.  So they don’t have to feel those unwelcomed gazes in their most personal moments.  Or feel embarrassed about their bodies should they not look like Playboy playmates.  And so a woman doesn’t have to worry about sexual assault in the locker room if she’s the only woman in there undressing in front of a group of men.

Even the Army understands these concerns women have while undressed.  So much so that they don’t even make them undress in front of other women.  The men may have to stand in a line and strip down to their underwear, bend over and grab their ankles for a very public rectal exam (see Women to Serve in Combat despite having Lower Physical Standards and Private Rectal Exams in Training posted 2/9/2014 on PITHOCRATES).  But not the women.  No, the women will enjoy bending over only in front of the doctor.  While in a private room.

So we give women an environment where they can feel safe.  And not where people can look at them in all of their nakedness with who knows what on their minds.  Especially in high schools.  And colleges.  Because we all know what college boys have on their minds.  So we keep anyone with a penis out of the women’s locker room.  Unless that person with a penis is transgendered (see California law lets transgender students pick bathrooms, teams to join by Holly Yan posted 8/13/2013 on CNN).  Which no doubt will make some women uncomfortable.  Taking off their clothes and standing naked next to someone who undresses and reveals a penis.  A woman’s normal reaction would be to quickly cover up her nakedness.  And call for help.  Is she supposed to feel comfortable and relaxed to be naked next to someone who claims to be a woman even though that someone has a penis?  At the least she may be thinking “is this person for real?  Or is this just a clever way to see me naked?”

The first Openly Gay Player in the NFL will go out of his way not to “Gay it Up”

Athletes are some of the most physically fit people in the world.  And some of the most attractive.  Men and women.  Which is why there’s a lot of stuff happening in those Olympic villages between or after the events.  The great Italian, Alberto Tomba, not only had great skills on the slopes.  But he had great skills off the slopes.  As he was quite the ladies’ man.  And today’s technology just makes it easier to hook up in the Olympic village (see Tinder Hook-Ups Off the Hook Among Sochi Athletes posted 2/12/2014 on ABC News).

The social networking tool may be new since the last Winter Olympics, but with 3,000 athletes in the prime of their lives from around the world packed into Sochi, they’re bound to seek an outlet through electronic means or otherwise.

“It’s like making the ingredients of a huge stew – a stew of sexual ingredients,” said Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist at Columbia University’s Teachers College in New York City. “There is stress, which causes tension, and anxiety and energy, and a massive outpouring of chemicals in the body – adrenaline and endorphins. It’s a powerful concoction of chemicals.”

“Everyone knows the runner’s high,” she said. “Olympian athletes certainly have it – it’s orgasmic.”

Kuriansky said all the beautiful and fit athletes tend not to “think about their conscience.”

“Winners or losers, on top of the world or devastated, it tends to make you grab the moment – carpe diem,” she said. “This is your moment.”

Professional athletes are in the prime of their sexual lives, too.  And it’s just not the quarterback of the football team getting the pretty ladies.  For when you’re this fit and at the top of your game the ladies come to you.  Which is probably why the NFL cheerleaders don’t share a locker room with the NFL players.  Manly men and beautiful women together undressed in the prime of their sexual lives?  In a stew of sexual ingredients?  That massive outpouring of adrenaline and endorphins?  No, putting penises and vaginas together in that boiling stew may lead to something orgasmic.  Which may distract from the game.

We now have the first openly gay player about to enter the NFL draft.  And despite being a professional athlete in the prime of his sexual life he will not even notice the naked men in the locker room he shares.  Just as a college boy could share the women’s locker room and not notice the undressed women.  Just as an NFL player could share the cheerleader locker room and not notice their glorious naked bodies.  And no one will ever have to say, “Hey, my eyes are up here.”  Or “stop looking at my ass.”

A gay man may find an NFL locker room heaven to be in (based on the number of search results for ‘gay porn scenes in a locker room’).  Just as a straight man would find it heaven to be invited into an NFL cheerleader locker room (based on all those R-rated movies where guys are spying on or sneaking into the girls’ locker room).  But not a gay NFL player.  No.  He will be a professional.  At all times.  Because he will be the first openly gay player in the NFL.  He will go out of his way not to ‘gay it up’ to borrow a line from Stephen Colbert.  He may make some players uncomfortable.  But after a few games that will go away.  No one will feel threatened in the locker room.  But he will still be a great distraction.  For Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy yet he plays for no NFL team.  Not even as a backup quarterback.  Why?  Well, part of the reason is they say his style of play does not translate well to the NFL.  But there is another reason.  Because of the distraction he is.  He was getting a lot of press for his Christian beliefs.  And his ‘Tebowing’ after a touchdown.  He was just too Christian.  And too big of a distraction from the game (he even had groupies).  Just as having a gay player in an NFL locker room will be.  For the team that picks him will no doubt spend a lot of their time talking about having the first openly gay player in the NFL.  And should he not do well in the NFL imagine that head coach explaining to the press why he cut the first gay NFL player from his team.  This will be the great distraction.  The media wanting to know if he’s a distraction.

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FT132: “To settle CEO pay once and for all we should peg it to the pay of athletes, the Hollywood elite, musicians and authors.” -Old Pithy

Posted by PITHOCRATES - August 24th, 2012

Fundamental Truth

Sports Stars only Work Part Time yet they Earn almost as Much as CEOs

It’s open season on rich CEOs.  From the Occupy Wall Street movement to the Obama Campaign attacks on Republican candidate Mitt Romney.  CEOs are too rich.  They don’t pay enough in taxes.  And they hate children.  Because they oppose higher tax rates on their income.  Which can only mean one thing.  They hate children.  At least if you listen to those on the Left.

So how well paid are they?  Well, they are paid well.  But not as well as some well-paid rich people.  Especially those typically associated with the Left.  High earning sports stars.  High earning Hollywood elites.  High earning superstars in music.  And high earning authors.  There are some conservatives in these fields.  But it’s hard to know who they are.  Because they tend to hide their politics to avoid undue attention on themselves.  Whereas liberals can be as outspoken and as critical of conservatives as they wish and never bring any undue scrutiny on their incredible high earnings.  Why?  It is the great unspoken rule in being filthy rich.  If you are an outspoken liberal you can be as filthy rich as you want and you will never hear an unkind word about your obscene wealth.  So let’s look at some filthy rich people.  Let’s look at the top 10 annual earners in the following sectors (see links above for source information):

Of the sectors shown CEOs are only richer than sports stars.  But not by much.  Which says a lot about the earnings of sports stars.  For sports are seasonal.  They have off-seasons.  And yet they make almost as much as CEOs.  Who work year round.  But other than the part-time sports stars the filthy rich CEOs are less filthy rich than the Hollywood elites, superstars in music and authors.

No One says that Musicians Earn too Much even though they Earn More than CEOs who Earn too Much

The median household income at the end of 2011 was $ 51,413.  Some may say this is rich.  If you’re making minimum wage perhaps it is rich.  But it’s a long way from those noted above.  Interestingly many of these people will say CEOs earn too much.  Some may even say these sports megastars earn too much.  But not many.  Few if any will criticize Hollywood elites, superstars in music and authors.  Even though they live a far better life than they could ever imagine.  Why?  Because these rich people say they care for the little guy.  And support Democrat candidates for office.  Which, of course, takes the spotlight off of their obscene wealth.  And they can insulate their lives from the policies of Democrats.  Which tend to be anti-business.  Including high taxes.  A complicated tax code.  And high regulatory compliance costs.  So CEOs tend to support Republican candidates.  Who tend to fight the anti-business policies of Democrats.  Because they hurt the businesses they’re responsible for.  Which, of course, makes them look greedy.  And like they hate children.

So how do these filthy rich people compare to the median household income?  Like this:

The sports megastars are the pauper of the group.  They only earn 780 times the median household income.  Musicians are the filthiest of the rich coming in at 1,701 times the median household income.  Meaning the average income of the top ten superstars in music equal the median income of 1,701 households added together.  Another 687 households more than the average income of the top ten CEOs.  Yet people say CEOs earn too much.  But no one says that musicians earn too much.  Even though they earn more than those who earn too much.

If CEOs are Overpaid then so Must Everyone who is Paid More than Them

People tend to pick on CEOs.  Because they are highly compensated.  Not as highly as musicians, the Hollywood elite or authors.  But highly.  They get those high compensations for a reason, though.  A few bad decisions at the top can ruin a successful business.  Whereas the CEO who consistently makes good decisions will make a business grow.  Creating wealth.  And jobs.  At the CEO’s business.  And all the businesses that feed into it.  Thanks to the stages of production.  So a good CEO can create a lot of economic activity.  Wealth.  And jobs.  Not to mention a whole lot of tax revenue.  Which fund all those Democrat programs.  Including the ones for children.

The other filthy rich create jobs, too.  And wealth.  But nowhere near what a good CEO can create.  For few of them are singularly responsible for building their industries.  Unlike a John D. Rockefeller.  An Andrew Carnegie.  A George Westinghouse.  Or a Steve Jobs.  These people changed the world.  And put hundreds of millions of people to work through the years.  Compared to the limited economic activity a pop star creates.  A movie star.  An author.  Or an athlete.

So a CEO creates more wealth and jobs for others than most filthy rich people.  And they create more tax revenue at all levels of government than most filthy rich people.  So one would think they would deserve higher compensation for all the good they do.  But no.  At least according to those on the Left.  So what would be fair?  Call them musicians?  Movie stars?  Authors?  If so then we could even pay them more.  For no one complains about their high compensation.  Or should we cut their pay?  As well as musicians, movie stars and authors?  And sports stars?  Pay them all less.  For if CEOs are overpaid then so must everyone who is paid more than them.  Of course that probably wouldn’t go over well with the athletes, the Hollywood elite, the musicians and the authors.  So perhaps to settle the CEO pay issue once and for all we should peg it to a weighted average of the pay of athletes, the Hollywood Elite, musicians and authors.  So the amount of compensation just doesn’t matter anymore.  Because they will be as filthy rich as the people the Left has no problem with being filthy rich.

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Our Favorite Athletes are Part of the 1% and try to Minimize the Taxes they pay just like those on Wall Street

Posted by PITHOCRATES - March 25th, 2012

Week in Review

Don’t think high taxes influences behavior?  Of course, no one cares about the evil 1%.  Those greedy Wall Street types that don’t pay their fair share of taxes.  But you know who else is in that greedy 1%?  Your favorite athletes.  And guess what?  They want to hold on to their earnings just like those greedy Wall Street types (see Professional Athletes’ Big-League Tax Bills by Jay MacDonald posted 3/15/2012 on Yahoo! Finance).

Behind every sports star who’s hauling down the big bucks is a keen-eyed certified public accountant quick-stepping through a maze of state and local income taxes imposed on nonresident athletes, commonly known as the “jock tax.”

Professional sports players get taxed by pretty much every city and state in which they play, says Ryan Losi, CPA and executive vice president of Piascik & Associates, a Glen Allen, Va., accounting firm that represents more than 70 professional athletes.

“NFL players typically file in 10 to 12 jurisdictions. NBA is somewhere between 16 and 20. MLB is somewhere between 20 and 26, and the NHL is between 14 and 16,” says Losi.

Professional sports players are great big cash piñatas to these city and states that chronically over spend.  They all want a piece of these guys.  To make sure they pay their ‘fair share’ of taxes.  While they can before some career-ending injury puts an end to this gravy train.  But because these players could lose millions in future career earnings because of a career-ending injury, they want to keep their money.  For they may never be able to get another job.  Sure, some may move into the front office.  Some may move on to coaching.  But few will earn the kind of money they did during their short careers.  So they want to keep as much as they earn.  To take care of their wife and kids.  And have enough for their retirements.  Which can be rather long for these worn out and injured bodies.  So they just don’t sit by passively while every taxing authority is shaking them down for everything they’re worth.

The lion’s share of most players’ income, their salary, is taxed in the city and state where the team is based. But income from other sources, including endorsements, personal appearances, dividends and interest income, is taxed in their state of residence.

This is the reason New York Giants quarterback and Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning lives in Hoboken, N.J., instead of in the Big Apple. It’s simple arithmetic, says Raiola.

“If he were a resident of New York, he’d pay 8.97 percent New York state tax and another 3.78 percent New York City tax on top of that, not only on his wage income but also his endorsements and investment interest,” he says. “In New Jersey, he only pays 8.97 percent…”

Taxes — or the lack of them — may also have had something to do with NBA all-star and 2010 free agent LeBron James’ choice to play for the Miami Heat instead of the New York Knicks. Losi points to Florida’s lack of a state income tax.

“That may have been one of the factors that led LeBron to choose Florida versus New York,” says Losi. “Ten percent of his first contract was going to be the difference. For him, it was an extra 5 (percent to) 9 percent difference in tax. That’s real money.”

New York City may be the greatest city in the world but the rich pay an enormous amount of taxes to live there.  So many chose not to.  In fact, a lot of athletes chose where they live and raise their families based on their total tax burden.

Professional golfers, tennis players and other athletes who compete on the world stage often leave a third or more of their earnings in the local coffers.

“Whenever they play in foreign countries, they have to pay taxes in that jurisdiction, and the tax liability is much bigger than the 5 (percent) to 10 percent state tax. It’s usually in the 30 (percent) to 40 percent bracket,” says Losi. “Usually it’s withheld in their prize money, and they can file a nonresident return if they think they might have a refund coming.”

Because the United States is one of the few countries that taxes all personal income regardless of source, some pro sports stars who compete internationally actually have a financial disincentive to make their home in America.

“If they’re (not U.S. citizens or green card holders) and they’re not planning to stay here more than 183 days out of the year, from a tax perspective it absolutely makes sense to not live in the U.S.,” says Losi. “All the foreign golfers who come here to play, if they want all of their foreign prize money and endorsement money to be taxed, all they have to do is hang out here for 183 days.”

Being an athlete competing at the level that makes them millionaires is not an easy life.  While others look forward to weekends, holidays and vacations to kick back and relax and recharge their batteries with copious amounts of alcohol and enormous quantities of fattening foods these athletes don’t.  They often work on weekends and holidays.  And when they’re not working they’re practicing.  Where their practice is often more intense than their competition.  This is their life.  This is how they become elite athletes.  And their reward?  To be whacked open like a cash piñatas by the taxing authorities so the politicians they serve can take their money and spend it to buy votes for the next election.  And forcing them to choose where to live based on who will penalized them the least for being really good at something.

This is not a meritocracy.  Where we reward people for achievement.  This is out of control government spending to maintain a privileged class.  Politicians.  And government workers.  Who live and feed off of taxes.  To fund their class warfare that makes these privileged few secure in their class.

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