The New Airport Security is a Pervert’s Paradise

Posted by PITHOCRATES - November 17th, 2010

Poorly Paid Perverts Enjoyed the ‘Perks’ of the Job

You ever work as security guard?  I have.  There are many types that work as guards.  College students (like me) using the time to study.  Retirees making some extra scratch for a hobby (I once worked with an old fisherman that spent his whole shift tying flies).  Ex-military who are usually armed (who do more of the serious/hardcore security).  Wannabe cops (who are for the most part good guards and advance in the company).  The unskilled.  The unemployable.  And perverts.

The unskilled and unemployable get some of the worst assignments.  Poorly paid, they sit in a booth or in their car in some of the worst neighborhoods.  They’re sort of like untrained militia.  Those who hire them hope for just one phone call to the cops before they break and run.

Perverts like to work where they can watch the pretty young ladies on a security camera system.  Or peek at them in the bathroom through a strategically placed hole in a ceiling tile.  Or use their keys to enter their offices where they can snoop through their desks during the night shift.  Or sit at a low desk with the sign-in log so they could look down their blouses when the ladies bend down to sign in.  And, of course, they always stash some porn in the stack of magazines in the bottom desk drawer. 

At First it was Just Some Naked Feet, a Flash of Thigh and a Little Butt Crack

Of course, things are different today.  A lot of women are guards now.  Pornographic magazines are a big no-no.  There are more security cameras making it harder to snoop.  And leering at women is right out.  It’s hard to be naughty these days.  So what is a pervert to do?  Why, work at the TSA.

Before 9/11, airport security guards were low-paid, unskilled, rent-a-cops.  They stood at the walk-through metal detectors.  Waved a wand over you if you beeped.  And on occasion rifled through a lady’s underwear packed in her suitcase.  But that all changed after 9/11.

Well, sort of.  The people didn’t change.  They just got snappy new uniforms and a fatter paycheck.  And did pretty much the same thing.  Stood at the walk-through metal detectors.  And waved their magic wands.  But if you had a foot fetish, things were looking up.  Especially if you liked to watch lovely ladies in short skirts and low-rise jeans contort, squat and bend over to put their shoes back on.  But things were going to get even better for the perverts.

Working in a Pervert’s Paradise

Now seeing naked pictures are part of the job.  But not to worry, concerned traveler.  Only TSA personnel will see those pictures (see TSA Chief Defends New Patdown Procedure by Scott Mayerowitz posted 11/16/2010 by ABC News).

The government has reassured the flying public time and time again that any naked images of them at airport checkpoints would be destroyed immediately.

And if you suffer from modesty, or fear radiation, you can opt out of the full body scans that produce these naked pictures. 

Passengers worried that their nude photos may end up on the Internet (or concerned about the radiation from the scanners) can opt to bypass the machines. But those travelers then must undergo a more-intrusive search, including the new patdown procedure in which a same-gender TSA agent touches the inside of passengers’ inner thighs and women’s breasts.

Can a pervert still enjoy a same sex pat-down?  Well, think about it.  Are perverts ladies men?  Or do attractive women typically reject these guys?  And, if so, what would these rejected guys really enjoy?  Why, watching a fellow TSA agent violate and humiliate an attractive woman with a public breast rub and public crotch grope, of course.

That new patdown alone has generated controversy as passengers, and even some pilots, have equated it with sexual assault. Pilot unions started to advise their members to have the patdown done in private.

So this is the tradeoff.  Sexual assault for everyone that flies.  A veritable pervert’s paradise.  To prevent another terrorist attack.  Which is less likely to happen than getting struck by lightning.  Something’s not right here.  But the BIG question is this; are we any safer?

The Israelis Profiled and Studied Behavior – They didn’t Peek through Women’s Clothes

It’s hard to make the case that we are.  The nude imaging and rough pat downs wouldn’t have found the underwear bomb last Christmas in Detroit.  What stopped that?  Alert passengers who saw a person of apparent Middle-East descent acting peculiarly.  You see, there is no such thing as political correctness on a plane with a credible threat.

So what’s the answer?  Well, terrorist hate us because we support Israel.  And there’s only one group of people they hate more than Americans.  Israelis.  And they’re constantly trying to kill them.  Yet their planes are pretty safe.  Apparently, the Israelis are doing something right.  And Security experts say we should be doing what the Israelis are doing (see Amid airport anger, GOP takes aim at screening by Byron York posted 11/15/2010 on the Washington Examiner).

For example, many security experts have urged TSA to adopt techniques, used with great success by the Israeli airline El Al, in which passengers are observed, profiled, and most importantly, questioned before boarding planes. So TSA created a program known as SPOT — Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques. It began hiring what it called behavior detection officers, who would be trained to notice passengers who acted suspiciously. TSA now employs about 3,000 behavior detection officers, stationed at about 160 airports across the country.

Good.  We’re following the Israeli lead.  So how is that working?

“It’s not an Israeli model, it’s a TSA, screwed-up model,” says [John] Mica [the Republican who will soon be chairman of the House Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure].  “It should actually be the person who’s looking at the ticket and talking to the individual. Instead, they’ve hired people to stand around and observe, which is a bastardization of what should be done.”

Leave it to government to take a good thing and screw it up.  And how bad is the TSA version of the Israeli method?

In a May 2010 letter to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Mica noted that the GAO “discovered that since the program’s inception, at least 17 known terrorists … have flown on 24 different occasions, passing through security at eight SPOT airports.” One of those known terrorists was Faisal Shahzad, who made it past SPOT monitors onto a Dubai-bound plane at New York’s JFK International Airport not long after trying to set off a car bomb in Times Square. Federal agents nabbed him just before departure.

The problem with the TSA is the TSA.  Granted, the SPOT detection officers were probably better trained than the typical TSA rent-a-cop, but they’re still part of the same bureaucracy.  They may train but they have little hands-on experience.  There just aren’t that many terrorists trying to get on our airplanes with detectable bombs.  And the few that do are able to slip through.  Because our TSA has so little hands-on experience.

People like to point to the military as a proof that government can do something well.  But who is really training those soldiers?  Combat veterans.  Who have hands-on experience fighting bad guys.  That’s what we need.  Professionals with experience.  Not TSA rent-a-cops.  We need to get serious with security.  Like the Israelis have.

Just Because President Obama’s Wife and Daughters aren’t Sexually Assaulted when They Fly Doesn’t Mean that Yours Shouldn’t

The problem with terrorism is that you have to worry about what doesn’t happen.  It’s not the successful attacks that count.  It’s the fear of what may happen.  This terror is so great that it has made us sexually assault our women and children whenever they fly.  But based on the experts, this sexual assault isn’t making us any safer.  So why do it?  Well, part of the reason is that those making us go through it don’t have to go through it themselves (see Since the TSA molested my family, why doesn’t Obama volunteer to subject his family to the same security procedures? by Mark Hemingway posted 11/16/2010 on the Washington Examiner).

The President and his family — preferably with DHS Secretary Janet “The system worked” Napolitano — should show up at Dulles or Reagan airport on a weekday with a camera crew in tow, as airport pat downs are typically done in full view of hundreds of travelers. All of America will to see the TSA handling the President’s crown jewels. Then a rubber-gloved federal agent will run his hands all over his wife and daughter’s privates while he watches. Then I want him to turn to the camera and tell all of America that this is no big deal and we should all be good citizens and comply with the necessary security procedures.

Can you see the TSA publicly embarrassing President Obama?  Or see him watching the TSA grope his wife and children?  Of course not.  The ruling elite will always exempt themselves from such barbaric treatment.  It’s okay for us.  But not for the royal family.    

When George W. Bush was tapping phone calls of suspected foreign terrorists, the liberal left went ballistic and called for his impeachment.  Ditto for the water boarding of all those three terrorists.  That was just beyond the pale.  But taking nude images or feeling up every man, woman and child who flies is okay.  Go figure.

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