Big Brother is Watching You…Pee in China

Posted by PITHOCRATES - August 24th, 2013

Week in Review

The problem with big government bureaucracies is that they’re always looking at ways to create new public sector jobs.  It’s why the U.S. federal government grows with each passing year.  And why the Chinese are considering this (see Miss your mark in the toilet? Pay $16 fine by AFP posted 5/20/2013 on The Times of India).

People with a poor aim are to be fined if they miss their mark when using public toilets in a Chinese city, officials said — [sic] provoking online derision over how the rule will be enforced.

The penalty will apply to those who urinate outside the bowl of facilities in Shenzhen, the southern boom town neighbouring Hong Kong, although draft regulations seen by AFP did not specify a minimum quantity of spillage required to be classed as a violation…

Users of China’s rumbustious weibo social networks poured scorn on the measures, raising the prospect of hordes of toilet inspectors being deployed to inspect performance.

“A number of new civil servant positions will be created. There will be a supervisor behind every urinating person to see whether the pee is straight,” wrote one poster.

Another added: “Very good measures. I expect they can create 20 jobs on average for every public toilet…”

Chinese toilet discipline can be notoriously wayward, with pictures of people defecating in public sometimes appearing on weibo.

No surprise, really.  Dirt-poor peasants who have nothing of the basic comforts of life—such as indoor plumbing and flush toilets—are moving to the big cities into a world they’ve never known.  But the public defecation is not the outrageous part of this story.  That thing about the potty police is.  And I feel sorry for the nervous pee-er who can’t go when someone is watching them.  Waiting to observe his urine stream.  So the potty police can give them a slap on the buttocks and say, “Nice pee pee.”  Or go Sergeant Hartman all over them.  (That’s a reference to the drill sergeant in the movie Full Metal Jacket.  We’d link to a YouTube clip of one of his many R-rated tirades but decided not to.  Those who are familiar with the movie will understand the reference.  And those who aren’t probably won’t enjoy hearing his abusive potty mouth.  On a side note, I met him once at an air show.  Active duty Marines waited in line to have him insult them and make them drop and do pushups.  Just so they could say he did.  People love R. Lee Ermey that much.  He’s a great American.  A Vietnam veteran who served in combat.  And was a real-life drill instructor.  But I digress.)

Can this happen in the United States?  Well, if anyone had said the federal government would force you to buy something against your will a decade ago no one would have believed it.  But here we are with Obamacare.  And the individual mandate.  So, men, enjoy your urinations in public restrooms while you can.  For it may not be long before you have a federal bureaucrat observing your urine stream.  For Big Brother may be watching you…go pee pee.

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