Even if it Saves only One Child

Posted by PITHOCRATES - January 17th, 2013

Politics 101

Bringing Children into the Gun Control Debate Politicizes it and Really Tugs at the Heartstrings

President Obama signed his executive orders.  He told the people to call their Congress person.  And to ask them if they support some measure of gun control.  And if not ask why not.  The president also said a lot of people will say the federal government is trying to take away your guns.  To scare people.  That it’s a federal power grab.  Just so people connected to the gun lobby can make more money by putting assault weapons into the hands of disturbed individuals.  And they just don’t care how many children die because of it.

So the president politicized the gun control debate by criticizing the opposition who will try to politicize it.  The president even signed the executive orders in front of children.  Because bringing children into the political debate really tugs at the heartstrings.  For if we focus on the children we can suspend all reason.  And pass the most sweeping of legislation even if it won’t do anything to reduce violent crime.  Because seeing those children we think we have to do these things.  Even if it saves only one child.

And these children behind the president wrote letters to the president.  Begging him to take executive action to go around the Second Amendment.  And an obstructionist Republican controlled Congress.  The same children who write letters to Santa Clause asking for toy guns, violent videogames and ponies.  So it is interesting how they can set aside the serious issues of their day (playing with neat things) to address the gun control debate.  Guess we need to treat these kids as adults as they are concerned about serious issues.  These same people who won’t eat their vegetables.  And will eat nothing but desserts if their parents let them.

Instead of Gun Control we should make our Motor Vehicles Bigger and Legislate Water away from our Children

Kids don’t understand issues.  They only know what someone taught them.  Which is the whole point of public education.  Teaching kids because they don’t know anything.  So it is unlikely these kids sat down and wrote letters to the president without some help.  Either from their parents.  From their teachers.  Or even the president’s people.  Someone coached them with these letters.  Unless I was a very strange and odd child.  For whenever I was scared about something I went to my mommy or my daddy.  I never sat down to write a letter to the president about the monsters that may or may not have been under my bed.

Still, the kids tug at the old heartstrings.  So we must do something.  Even if it saves only one child.  Perhaps any gun control legislation should include other things that can save children’s lives.  Even if it only saves one life.  If it’s good enough for guns it should be good enough for anything.  For there are a lot of things that can harm kids.  The number one cause of death for kids ages 5-14 in 2010 was motor vehicle accidents.  Motor vehicles killed 806 kids in 2010.  Probably because we’ve shrunk cars down so much to save gas that if they get involved in an accident with a large vehicle there isn’t much left of the small vehicle.  So, for the children, we should outlaw small cars.  And mandate that all children ride in only full-size trucks and SUVs.  Even if it saves only one child.

The number two cause of death for children ages 5-14 in 2010 was drowning.  Water killed 251 kids in 2010.  So, for the children, we should outlaw backyard swimming pools.  Pools in schools.  And family trips to the lake, beach and ocean.  We should prohibit the televising of Olympic swimming and diving competition as it may encourage children to enter the water.  And we should outlaw hot tubs and bath tubs in homes.  Mandating that kids take only showers.  To eliminate water violence.  For guns killed only 37 kids in 2010.  While water killed 251.  And motor vehicles killed 806.  If we’re talking about gun control we should be talking about making motor vehicles bigger and safer, too.  And legislating water away from our children.  Even if it saves only one child.  Of course, doing so will probably save more children than new gun control laws.  Because they kill so many more kids than guns do.

When People live in a World where there are no Absolutes People will do things they Probably Shouldn’t

Sometimes when someone falls on hard times because they can’t find work they snap.  They do something violent.  Including the killing of innocent lives.  So perhaps we should rescind the president’s failed economic policies.  And remove stifling regulations on businesses.  Including the big one.  Obamacare.  Which has caused a hiring freeze as businesses don’t know the full costs of Obamacare.  We should eliminate these so businesses start hiring again.  For the children.  This will let people find jobs.  So they can take care of themselves.  And their families.  So we should undo all of the president’s failed economic policies.  Even if it saves only one child.

Idle hands are the devil’s tools.  If people have nothing to do they tend to do things to get rid of their boredom.  Sometimes bad things.  People who work have little time to do bad things.  Because they’re too busy working.  But people who don’t work because they collect government benefits have a lot of free time.  And get bored.  Some may even suffer from self-esteem issues.  As they don’t feel they have any value.  That they don’t matter.  So they might do something to let the world know who they are.  To make people remember their name.  And few things do that more than getting your name splattered all over the news for some heinous act.  So perhaps we should eliminate welfare programs.  To force people to work.  So they have no free time.  Or idle hands.  Even if it saves only one child.

When people live in a world where there are no absolutes.  Where there is no right or wrong.  Just shades of grey.  And no consequences for our actions.  People will do things they probably shouldn’t.  High school kids are going to have sex no matter what we say.  So we should give them birth control.  And abortion.  Even partial birth abortion.  Where they terminate the fetus’ life while the baby is still partially inside the mother.  For it would be murder if the fetus was completely outside of the mother.  This consequence-free life and the termination of unborn fetuses may tell some people that other things we do may not have consequences.  And that it’s okay to terminate life.  So perhaps we should bring religion back into our schools.  Mandate that people go to church and pray.  To learn right and wrong.  To teach people that our actions have consequences.  And to make all forms of abortion illegal.  To teach people the value of human life.   Even if it saves only one child.

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